“I don’t want to go to Australia because of all the deadly animals and insects.” Now there’s a broken record.
Anyone who’s actually been to the ‘land of plenty’ will know that there’s more chance of getting killed by an electric scooter.
BeingManiacsand craving all things gore and grim we thought we’d share with you some devious brutes that might have gone over your head.
1. Alligator Snapping Turtle- Known for it’s extremely strong biting power and found in Northern America. The name does kind of void this first entry but at the end of the day who’d have thought a bloody turtle would be able tear limbs from you!
2. Pitohui- Holds a similar poison to that of the Colombian Dart Frog as a defence mechanism and found in New Guinea. I’d have laughed if you’d tried tell me that this furry lil’ fella packs a poisonous punch?! I’m going to be careful from now on when shouting abuse at noisy birds from my bedroom window!
3. Honey Badger- Found across many tropical climates the Honey Badger it has very few natural predators. Attacks venomous snakes, get’s bitten by them, kills them, passes out, regains consciousnessand eats them. Right well that changes my perception on the world’s most fearless creature!
4. The Cone Snail- This creature plays host to one of the deadliest neurotoxins known to man and will prove fatal to humans. Fortunately they are usually found in the ocean. If you were to come across one of these pretty dudes I would advise not picking it up for inspection!
5. Polar Bear- Large carnivorous bear found in the Arctic Circle and capable of decapitating a human with one swipe of it’s paw. I know it’s obvious to stay clear of carnivore’s of this size but they just look so cuddly!!
6. Cape Buffalo - African species and is the primary reason for double barreled rifles being invented. One shot was not enough to kill this beast. Also known to stalk and kill the hunter which was stupid enough to wound it! I know the last couple are maybe more obvious but I just found the extent of their brutishness amazing!
7. Swan- Swan’s are labelled as the Queen’s animals in the UK. Rumours have it you can be hung, drawn and quartered if you fuck with one. That is not the only deterrent. Swan’s have been known to break bones. Naturally very vicious, some might say ironically being the Queen’s animal.
8. Pacu- These bunny boilers have recently been in the news as the native South American fish found it’s way somehow from the fresh water of the Amazon to Danish seawater. Scientists are still baffled by how it did this. It just so happens that this creature is a big fan of nuts. When I say that I mean actual nuts. Even though warnings were sent out to the Danish public to keep everything tucked away! Supposedly they have been known to mistake testicles for their favourite snack and go to town on them!
9. Siafu Ant-We have to end with these beasts. Otherwise known as driver ants or safari ants.They are very capable of consuming a human being, but the person must be weakened first. The elderly and the young are most at risk. They kill a person not by eating them alive, but by swarming into a person’s lungs. Once they are in a person’s lungs, they cause suffocation and tear through lung tissue. Known tocolonizein numbers over 20 million they are a brutal, relentless andintuitive species. They have powerful shearing jaws and the usual way of shaking off ants by submerging them in water is almost ineffective as they will cling on to you and hold their breath for over 3 minutes.Found in Africa, these have to be the most militant dudes going. Imagine if they were human size, that shit would take over the universe! I can’t find any pictures of these brutes massacring anything. Because no one in their right mind would step within 25 feet maybe??
