While the fantasy/action/drama/porno isn’t for everyone, it has certainly caught the attention of millions of people around the world and continues to be an ever-reliable source of anxiety for yours truly. So given the show’s popularity, and our undying love for all things metal, we decided to sift through its endless pit of characters, and attempt to find the heavy metal icon with which they identify. Not an easy task given the show is basically one, big Amon Amarth video clip. Nevertheless…
1. TORMUND GIANTSBANE – BRENT HINDS (MASTODON)
You can’t go past this one. Look at these two! Brent Hinds is STRAIGHT UP WILDLING and the two are basically twins separated at birth. Stick some brutal ink on the side of Tormund’s face, and you’d have serious problems differentiating one from the other. Both these guys have serious game (Come on Brienne, we know you want a piece of that), and can swing an axe, albeit vastly different kinds, with the best of them. Also worth mentioning is Hinds’ cameo role late in the 5th season of the show as a Wildling alongside Tormund! This one is a dead set lock.
In terms of sheer terror, both these guys rate somewhere around a ‘wet your pants’ out of ten. Mask or not, they’re both pretty bloody frightening, and have a set of lungs on them to boot. I don’t know about you guys but running into either of these two on a dark night north of the wall would be enough to send me packing it all the way to the Iron Islands and, much like a Slipknot show, in desperate need of a second pair of underpants.
3. RAMSAY BOLTON – VARG VIKERNESS (BURZUM)
Sadistic, gore-obsessed and should definitely be in prison, serial ass wipe and total nut bag Ramsay Bolton is undoubtedly Game of Thrones’ most evil character. Now while this musician may not possess anywhere near the level of psychopathy that Bolton does, Varg Vikernes of iconic black metal band Burzum comes as close as anyone. Vikernes has always had a penchant for the macabre, confirmation of which came when the Norwegian singer stabbed Mayhem guitarist Euronymous in the head during an argument one night over whose corpse paint looked better financial differences. Grim. He’s also somewhat of a fire bug and like 95% of the population of Westeros, could be considered just a little bit frightening.
4. DAENERYS TARGARYEN – ANGELA GOSSOW (EX-ARCH ENEMY)
If there was one chick in metal as bad ass as The Mother of Dragons, it’s definitely ex-Arch Enemy howler Angela Gossow. Blonde hair, furious ambition and the source of envy for men around the world, Gossow would own the role of Daenerys. She is is among a small group of women to front a death metal band, not unlike her counterpart who heads up the select legion of ladies vying for the Iron Throne. Plus we reckon she’d be right at home on the back of a dragon. Form an orderly line, gentlemen.
5. JON SNOW – NIKKI SIXX (MTLEY CRUE/SIXX A.M.)
Having battled his demons all his life, Jon Snow eventually became everyone’s favourite bastard and by the culmination of season 5, had the entire world on his side when he met his untimely demise at the hands of that little prat Olly and other members of the Night’s Watch. He was – spoiler alert - ultimately resurrected by Melisandre and the world rejoiced, not unlike his metal counterpart Nikki Sixx who was brought back from the dead on numerous occasions (Sixx wasn’t murdered. He just really liked heroin) by what can only be described as some kind of magic… and a shitload of adrenaline. Thankfully, both these legends are still with us today.
6. SANSA STARK – HAYLEY WILLIAMS (PARAMORE)
Forget the fact Paramore isn’t a heavy band for a minute, and remember that charismatic front woman Hayley Williams is actually a bit of a closet bad ass that has, like Sansa throughout 6 seasons of Thrones, grown up before our eyes since the band’s self-titled record graced our Sony Discmans many winters ago. Sansa has understandably become fearless (and a little ruthless) since her run in with the Bolton’s, and like Williams, has only become a stronger, more dominant presence in her field over the years. Also, the red hair, I mean… this one kinda wrote itself. So much fire!
7. SANDOR ‘THE HOUND’ CLEGANE – TILL LINDEMANN (RAMMSTEIN/LINDEMANN)
This basically comes down to two dudes who are just bloody massive. Standing next to either of these guys would make you feel about as big as Tyrion Lannister at Mag the Mighty’s birthday party, and equally as uncomfortable. Put Till in some armour and hand him a sword (and maybe chuck a huge, gnarly scar on the side of his face), and you’d have trouble telling the two apart. We’re yet to really know if the Hound is a good guy or not, but we do know he can drink and fight and tends to be a little antisocial. Probably wouldn’t be out of the place at my local, honestly.
8. THEON GREYJOY – OLIVER SYKES (BRING ME THE HORIZON)
The last surviving son of Balon Greyjoy certainly has been through the wash during his six seasons on Game of Thrones, and having changed his tune after a lengthy stay at Winterfell under the heavy hand of Ramsay Bolton, ‘Reek’ as he became known was a different person entirely once he emerged. We liken this change to that of former deathcore/metalcore front man turned screamo-pop heartthrob Oli Sykes of British band Bring Me The Horizon. The band’s style changed dramatically in a short period of time and Sykes has managed to pull himself out of some pretty grim situations, so snaps to these two fellas for trying to better themselves.
9. GREGOR CLEGANE – GEORGE ‘CORPSEGRINDER’ FISHER (CANNIBAL CORPSE)
Having such creative names for your songs has never struck a nerve with folks quite like death metal pioneers Cannibal Corpse’s have. Chief growler George Fisher is undoubtedly one of heavy metal’s elite and much like the one they call ‘The Mountain’, has a neck the size of a tree trunk, and strikes fear into all who cross his path. Sure, Fisher has never crushed anyone’s skull with his bare hands, or disembowelled anybody (as far as we know), but as his lyrics suggest, it’s something that he thinks about quite often which is a disturbing enough thought in itself. If pummelling, violent grindcore and the smashing of various body parts is your thing, you’ll appreciate the similarities between these two.
10. EDDARD (NED) STARK – ROBB FLYNN (MACHINE HEAD)
Poor Ned, how little we knew ye! One of the Seven Kingdom’s few truly good men, Stark graced us with his fatherly presence in the first season of the show before being cruelly taken away from us by He whose name shall not be spoken (*punches wall*). We think Ned identifies with legendary metal front man Robb Flynn, who has always been known as one of metal’s best dudes. Flynn has forever been extremely outspoken in his beliefs, as was Ned whose tragic death is proof that being the good guy doesn’t always end so well. Also, Robb’s band is called Machine HEAD… Get it…? We’ll show ourselves out.
So there you have it. Ten of Game of Thrones’ most metal characters and the genre’s personalities they identify with – Did we get it right, or are we way off the mark? Let us know in the comments!
Now, where did I leave my battle-axe and copy of Slayer’s Reign in Blood?